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Recipes

Table of Contents
here's a list of known-good recipes i rotate through! this page is mainly intended for my family so instructions are tailored to my kitchen

Tips

the MVPs

zhuzh up something cheesy: cavender's all purpose greek seasoning

zhuzh up something asian: bachan's original japanese barbecue sauce

any time the air fryer is used, it is at 375°F

Preparing Tofu

press, cube small, dump in the air fryer, and stir in some oil. for extra cripsy, stir some corn starch in after the oil. just dump it straight into the fryer basket, no need to get a bowl dirty. air fry for 16-18 minutes, not the full 20! stir every 4 minutes.

Roasting Sweet Potatoes

cube small, put into air fryer dry. it's easy to use too much oil: stir in just enough oil to make everything wet, don't leave a pool of oil at the bottom. run for the full 20 minutes, stirring at least twice. if it's going into a stir fry, a few minutes before the end, stir in some Japanese BBQ Sauce

Meals

Spicy Peanut Butter Soup

based on the recipe presented by you suck at cooking

Ingredients

Instructions

get the stove running on 2-4 cups of water in a big pot, depending on how liquidy you want the final product. combine veggie bouillon to make broth. you might as well add the can of chickpeas now, so they get done enough.

roast a diced sweet potato and add it to the broth too

dice all veggies, sauté onion in hot oil, then add celery, then add carrots, until all sautéed (don't forget celery takes longer to cook than carrots)

dump sautéed veggies into the broth with:
- can of tomatoes
- can of chickpeas (if you haven't already)
- roasted sweet potato (if you haven't already)
- spoonful of brown sugar
- the roasted sweet potato
- diced garlic (two cloves at least)
- hot chili sauce (to taste)
- peanut butter (several large spoonfuls at least)

simmer until it seems right

Sweet Potato Stir Fry

simone taught me this recipe, which is also how i started learning to cook, and how i learned i love onions and sweet potatoes!! if it wasn't for simone teaching me sweet potato stir fry, i would never have survived as a vegetarian

Ingredients

Instructions

cut the onion into wedges, sauté for a long time, until caramelized. for the OG vanlife experience, sauté in soy sauce and only ever use one pan. add oil to pan as needed to keep everything a little wet

while the onions are cooking (they're the longest part), cube a sweet potato and get them roasting. in the air fryer, gently wet them with oil and air fry for 20 minutes.

when the onions are done or near done, add diced carrots and whatever other veggies you like. go until the onions are fully done (meaning there is no white left!!!!) then add the sweet potatoes

optional: fry some tofu too (this is always an option when you fry anything)

make the noodles on the side: follow package instructions
- if you use instant ramen, dump the flavor packet into the stir fry

when It Is Time, dump a bunch of soy sauce (and some oil) into the veggie pan and stir it while it frys. add the garlic too. like a minute later, dump in the noodles and stir them while they fry. add oil as needed to keep things wet and soy sauce to taste. top with green onions

Fauna's Peanut Noodles

uuuuuuuu

as seen here

Ingredients

Instructions

ratio for the sauce is roughly 2:2:1 for peanut butter, soy sauce, and maple syrup. couldn't believe how much soy sauce i put in there when i was portioning it to taste. the sesame oil and siracha are added in smaller amounts, to taste. i like just a bit of ginger, dana likes a ton. garlic would surely be a good improv addition

cook and rinse the rice noodles

dump the peanut sauce on them

top with minced carrots and green onion, and roasted sesame seeds if you got em

add tofu fried in sesame oil for protein

Miguel Spaghetti

real basic winner from an old college roommate

Ingredients

Instructions

use crockpot / slowcooker

pour a little spaghetti sauce into the crock, loosely fill the layer with little sausage pieces, grind in pepper (medium amount) and grind in fennel seeds (small amount, optional), then cover with a little more spaghetti sauce, repeat until ingredients used up

cook for 8-12 hours on low

cook spaghettis like normal and put the sauce on them

Tofu Ziti

Ingredients

Instructions

oven to 375, boil ~10 oz pasta like normal

press then crumble tofu, mix with 1 tsp salt and 2 tbsp nutritional yeast

add half of the pesto to the crumbled pile

mix pasta into the crumbled pile

mix 1/4 cup parmesian, then 3/2 cups of cherry tomatoes, then the rest of the pesto

put in dish, top with moz, cover in tin foil, cook in oven for 20-30 minutes

Mongolian Tofu

Ingredients

Instructions

slice and sautee the shiitakes separately in butter, then add them to the final product

experiment: next time, let's add a ton of cornstarch and make a properly thick sauce

Smash Burgers

impossible beef is amazing

Ingredients

Instructions

you just form the beef into balls and smash cook them on a hot pan. drop a dollop of mustard onto the hot pan first!

Green Bean Tofu Stir Fry

Ingredients

Instructions

use so, so much corn starch

Mac n Cheese

literally just zhuzhed up kraft box macaroni

Ingredients

Zhuzhing Ingredients (optional, recommended)

Instructions

make the macaroni according to the box. yes, kraft wants half a stick of butter, do it

for lazy zhuzhing, just throw a fistfull of mexican blend shredded cheese into the pot with a liberal amount of greek seasoning. for higher-effort zhuzhing, caramelize some onions and mix them in too

Enchiladas

Ingredients

Instructions

Tacos

Ingredients

Instructions

cook the meat in a pan, add the spice+some water when it's almost done. simmer down, microwave shredded cheese on a flour tortilla for 22 seconds, dump meat in a line and roll up

Tomato Soup and Grilled Cheese

this is not complicated at all

Ingredients

Instructions

make the soup hot according to directions. add cream and basil when it's most of the way hot. heat it a little more.

butter the breads and pan fry it with cheese in between. we all know how to make this one okay but it's on the list so i gotta write instructions

i like to put french fried onions in the soup instead of oyster crackers

Deserts

Strawberry Cake Balls

Ingredients

Instructions

make the box cake mix according to instructions

when it's done, rip it to shreds with your hands and mix it with frosting, roughly 50-50 by volume (less frosting if it's a strong flavor like lemon)

form the result into little balls and put them in the freezer to firm up

melt almond bark, pour over the cake balls

eat them all once they cool

I Just Need Calories

Stop Pretending You'll Think of Something Better